Additional "New In Town" Articles


You Gotta Have Friends
Published: 11/2/2010 9:36:02 AM


It never fails. About two months after I've moved to a new place, it suddenly hits me: I've MOVED.

Yeah, I know. Real astute. As if the weeks of packing, the moving truck, an eight-hour drive, and weeks of unpacking and getting resettled didn't convince me.

No. For me, the reality of having moved always hits a couple months after the move, when I'm settled into the new place. I've learned the quirks of my new home, where all the important places are, how to get around town, and I've started making new friends. It's when I start making those new friends that it hits, because I realize that I miss my old friends. People I used to see every day, or a couple times a week, I now haven't seen in a couple months. I miss my lunch buddies, my Bible study girls, my dance party friends, my co-workers, my church friends.

The new friends are great, and I'm so blessed to have them, but my old friends know me already…they know my quirks and weirdnesses and what makes me laugh. There's always a time when making new friends that I wonder how much I let them know about me, how close I let them get. That wondering comes up a lot this year in particular, when I'm only living in this place for the duration of my husband's internship. In about nine more months, I'll move again, and every move gets harder to make. But, even as introverted as I am, I can't go a whole year without friends to see and talk to and connect with.

I'm not the best at making new friends. (Have I mentioned that I'm introverted?) A large part of me wants to skip the awkward getting to know someone phase and jump right to being friends. But friendship, I'm learning, takes time. You have to share things--and I don't just mean sharing information about yourself. You have to share experiences, too. Find things in common with one another. For me, one of the things that builds a friendship the fastest is sharing faith. The people I regularly pray with and spend time in Bible study with are the ones I grow closest to. That's why, when I move to a new place, I like to find a Bible study group to be part of.

Another thing I've learned, is that just because we make new friends, it doesn't mean that we have to let our old friends go. There are so many ways to stay in touch with old friends…email, Facebook, phone, Skype, etc. It's fairly easy to maintain old friendships; the hard part, at least for me, is making the time to do it.

But friendships are essential and they are always worth the time and effort. Where do you go to find new friends? How do you stay in touch with your old friends? Use the discussion board on the Young Adult Ministry Facebook group to talk about this topic.

Sherrah Behrens

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